Очень улыбнуло
Man one:
So much effort in discussing the production of bad coffee. When old fashioned beans spill from their container, they don't leave a sticky mess. Want instant coffee? Try this : before you bed down, remove the government issue grinder from the scabbard attached to your belt, grind the beans, fill your boiler with water, add the beans to the water, roll into your blanket, go to sleep, roll out of bed, bring the water to a boil, remove the boiler from the fire, pour the mixture slowly into your dipper. Drink.
Leaving the ground beans in water overnight leaches the essence into the water. You don't want to boil the water any longer than necessary to bring it to the desired temperature for drinking. The only hazard is the placement of the boiler overnight. Jonahs have a way of tripping over it during the night. An, "oh, sorry," just don't make adequate restitution for the loss of a necessary beverage to the caffeine addicted and afflicted.
Man two:
Actual field practice indicates removing the lid from a container of "Coffee a la Goo" is quite the challenge, and in some cases requiring the assistance of a torpedo or 32-pound shell to separate the two pieces of tin. Great care must be taken, lest the entire platoon be immediately coated with brown coffee tar, and, thusly confused with wandering minstrels.
Thousands of loyal legionaires who enjoy that early morning sawmill time just before the bugler blows, are happy you grind your beans in the evening rather than wake up at 4:15 a.m. and commence crunching, rattling, tinkling, and jiggling mess cup, bayonet, and what sounds like an entire brigade band composed of nothing more than the contents from a train of tinkers and the inmates of the simian cage from the zoo. Grind. Grind. Grind. Curse. Grind. Grind. Spill. Curse loudly. Grind. Grind. Smartass remark from neighbor. Grind. Grind.
I, myself, enjoy loading up a kettle with coffee (roasted & ground) the night before, thus being able to set it directly on the fire (that the guards neglected to keep going) early in the morning, so that men fresh from nature's own sinks (the woodline, or sidewall of the officer's tents, whichever is closest) can prance and skip to the firepit to inqure at 4:55 a.m.: "IS THE COFFEE READY? IS THAT COFFEE? CAN I HAVE SOME?"
A smart man puts the slop bucket near the fire with a ladle hanging out of it during the hours of darkness, thus preventing that especial question from that one individual ever again.
Only the US Senate could make that much ado over roofing tar sold as coffee.
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